ROADS (Reaching out about Depression and Suicide)

» It’s ok to grieve

The death of a loved one can feel like sudden, unexpected and drastic amputation of a limb without any anesthesia. The pain cannot be described and no scale can measure the loss. We want so much for our loved one to return so that we can do something, and we ache knowing that it just can’t happen. You need to know that it’s okay to grieve.

» It’s ok to cry

Tears release the flood of sorrow of missing the one you love. Tears relieve the brute force of hurting, enabling us to “level off” and continue our cruise along the stream of life. Shedding tears is not a sign of weakness-it is a sign of our human nature and emotions of deep despair and sorrow. You need to know that it’s okay to cry.

» It’s ok to heal

We do not need to “prove” that we loved the person who has died. As the months pass we are slowly able to move around with less outward grieving each day. We need not feel “guilty”, for this is not an indication that we love less. It only means that, although we don’t like it, we are learning to accept death and it’s finality of the pain our loved one suffered. It’s a healthy sign of healing. You need to know that it’s okay to heal.

» It’s ok to laugh

Laughter is not a sign of “less” grief. Laughter is not a sign of “less” love. It’s a sign that many of our thoughts and memories are happy ones and our dear one would have wanted us to laugh again. You need to know it’s okay to laugh.

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